It feels like June literally went past in a flash.. It was a tough month for me, I reached some personal goals and due to moving house everything has been a bit manic in my life! My mum and I decided it was time to move house due to needing to down size, so now we are living in a small cottage round the corner from my work place. I feel very sad to have left the farm as I saw that as my forever home (Until I move out obviously) but we both need a fresh start and something easier to manage between us! We have moved to a lovely little village but it takes a lot of getting used to!
Some of you may or may not know that I suffered with some ‘mental health’ issues at the end of December 2017 and I have been battling them ever since. One day I can be completely fine and the next I can wake up and feel like the world is on my shoulders and that there is no one to turn to.. It really can be a struggle! Sometimes I find day to day problems difficult to deal with especially friendships and relationships. I always feel like I have done something wrong or that I am not good enough, sometimes even to the extreme that everyone hates me! This does cause some strain but from no fault of my own – Even though I do end up convincing myself that it is my fault!
Mental Health is something that is stigmatised and people don’t like talking about it openly. You could have everything you want in the world but that doesn’t change the way you feel or how your brain works unfortunately. I want people to feel that if they are suffering they can talk to someone, anyone. Knowing that other people are going through a similar situation and can relate to you can sometimes be just what you need. I would like my readers to know that if they are going through something that I am always a message away.. To give advice, or to even just listen! If this post helps at least one person to reach out and speak to somebody then I am doing what I should be doing as a person. This blog post was not meant to be focused on Mental Health as this is a Country Lifestyle & Equestrian blog but I want to show every aspect of my life not just what looks perfect to some.. What people choose to show to the world might not always be so ‘Picture Perfect’
Saying goodbye can be one of the hardest words..
So what did I do in June?
I went on holiday with Buddy which I have written an in depth post about which you can read in ‘Country Life’ – It was really nice to get away for a few days despite the bad fall which is still taking it’s toll on me still now.. You know what equestrians are like, ignore the problem until it becomes a problem! I am trying to go back to work full time again now which I am really happy about as that was one of my personal goals that I set myself, I shall take each day as it comes. I didn’t attend many events in the month of June due to having a lot going on.. My boyfriend and I decided to go our separate ways which was really hard but I need to focus on me now and not what is making me feel down. There is only so much you can give someone with not much in return which is a real shame because we really could have been something special but you can’t force someone to love and care for you like you do them.
I have a lot planned for July so there will be a juicy read next month!
Until next time..